


When will he be able to go home?

by imsfire



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Brotherly Love, Jane Foster is crucial but offstage here, Loki Feels, Loki is in an institution, Mental Illness, Thor Feels, possible triggers: mental health issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4541544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsfire/pseuds/imsfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is finally where he belongs, locked away safely in a place where he can get the help he so desperately needs.  But Thor is facing a nightmare, the possibility of losing Jane; and there's only one person he can turn to for help...</p>
            </blockquote>





	When will he be able to go home?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stardust_and_Strawberries](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardust_and_Strawberries/gifts).



> So Maybug and I had an idea for a long Avengers fic (which I'd really love to do sometime!) and I wrote a short introductory chapter for it. My guess at a diagnosis for Loki's mental health woes is almost certainly wrong, as I'm not a clinician, so my apologies for anyone that offends or upsets.

“So when will he be able to go home?”  
The doctor looks uncomfortable.  
“You must understand,” she says “Your brother’s care needs are extremely complex.”  
“He is very troubled. I know this.”  
“Forgive me, but ‘troubled’ is not the term that springs to mind. He’s burdened with a very difficult, and a very unusual, combination of conditions. At the moment the drug we’ve got him on has stabilised some, if not all, of the factors. He’s having a good day today, too; you’ll find him lucid and relatively calm. But this can charge, sometimes very suddenly. He’s an unpredictable patient. And not always a patient one, either.”  
The tall blond visitor smiles sadly. “He has always been so. But he is still my brother. I wish to understand his troubles, the better to be able to help him.”  
“Well, he’s a paranoid schizophrenic with severe narcissistic personality disorder. There’s a degree of psychosis, and he also has delusional episodes. We’re making some progress but it’s going to take some time before we can say with confidence that the treatment is working. Obviously the love and support of his family can only help. But as for going home – I’m sorry, but please try to understand - for the time being, Mr Laufeyson is in the best place.”  
“May I see him?” asks the tall man humbly.  
“Of course. Please follow me. I’m sorry about all the locks, but this is a secure unit for good reasons. It does slow things up a bit, though. This way.”  
She leads him down the passage to a locked door, and then to another, an openwork metal grille this time, also locked. Beyond this is a wide, clean corridor with large rooms opening off it. There are no doors at all, here, and in each room small groups of people sit watching television or playing simple games with boards and counters.  
The next doorway is locked once again; it leads into a passage lined with doors. The doctor opens one and admits him into a bedroom.  
It’s simply furnished, hardly the quality of accommodations a prince of Asgard is used to. But his brother is sitting quietly by the window, looking out at the cherry blossom and the watery spring sunshine, and his expression is mild and thoughtful as he looks round.  
“Greetings, brother,” says Thor.  
Loki’s face slowly opens into a smile of startling sweetness. “Thor,” he says in a surprised tone. “It’s good to see you.”  
“How are you?”  
Loki’s voice becomes rueful. “Better, I suppose. Would you like a seat?”  
“May we have some time?” Thor asks the doctor, who is hovering. “I promise you that I will call for assistance should the need arise.”  
She looks reluctant, but a comparing glance between the brothers seems to reassure her. It’s hard to imagine, after all, that the slim Loki could possibly injure his powerfully-built brother; and Mr Odinson would surely call for help, as he’s just promised, if any is needed. She smiles and nods, and leaves the two of them together.  
Moving away down the passage she wonders for a moment about the peculiarity of their surnames; she’d never realised Scandinavian names were so different from the system in the rest of the world. But then a shout of frustration from one of the board-game players distracts her, and the brothers are forgotten.  
Thor has sat down. “The doctor tells me you are taking a medicinal drug, brother. I hope it is helping.”  
“It’s ironic, isn’t it?” Loki says lightly. “I try to crush this miserable puny race and destroy their entire civilisation, and it turns out theirs is the only medicine that can help me. Thank you for not crowing about it. I do appreciate that, you know.”  
“I have not come here to mock you, Loki. I sincerely desire your recovery. It pleases me to see you so calm, so at peace, here.”  
“Well, I wouldn’t have gone quite as far as ‘at peace’, but then, we both know I’ll never be that until I die, don’t we, brother? This has not been a peace-giving life for me, you know. So, why have you come, then? “  
Thor looks down sadly at his hands, and there is a pause before he says “I need – we need – your help.”  
“We being who, exactly? Why should I help those who have banished me? Are Mother and Father prepared to allow me to come home if I help you?”  
“They do not even know that I am here.”  
“And I suppose you’d say I should be grateful for my banishment anyway, since it’s left me in this place where I can finally receive the treatment I need, can finally be healed of my grievous madness? Eh?” Loki’s dark brows twist and his voice is growing agitated. Thor hushes him with a gesture towards the still-open door and he pauses for breath and goes on slightly more calmly. “So, come on then, tell me who it is that could possibly be in need of my help. How can the miserable, despised, adopted brother with ‘mental health problems’ help the mighty Thor?”  
“It is complicated,” Thor says into his lap. Then raises his head as Loki scoffs quietly. “It concerns Jane. She is ill. She is dying. Loki, I have come to ask you to help me save her.”  
Loki’s face has grown quiet, and for a moment he is silent. When he speaks again it is in a tone that veers between mockery and wild distress. “Your little mortal? But – no – that can’t be right! I liked her. Their lives are so ludicrously short anyway. Ridiculous to give your heart to a human! But – no, no! -”  
“Calm yourself, brother, please! Try to calm yourself. Jane has a sickness that human medicine cannot treat. I am no longer able to take her home to Asgard, even if I wished it. But you have always possessed the power of journeying between the many worlds. You could take her to Asgard; or to better places yet. There are worlds whose medicine makes even ours look like mere magic.”  
“I’d rather go home,” Loki says through pale lips. “But I suppose you’ll say I shouldn’t break the terms of my banishment.”  
“Were it in my power, I would bid you break the very laws of the universe! I have to save Jane!”  
There’s a pause before Loki says wryly “And now it is I who must say ‘please try to calm yourself’.” He smiles, amused at being the one in control of his emotions. “Thor, you know that if you shout at me like that they’ll think we’re fighting. They’ll throw you out and forbid me any visitors. It’s not worth it, you know.”  
Thor sinks back in his seat and sighs. “I fear for her,” he says simply. “I have given everything for Jane; I cannot bear to lose her.”  
There’s another pause. “So,” says Loki at length. “What are these ‘better worlds’ you speak of? I assume you don’t mean it in a euphemistic sense, as in ‘she’s going to go to a better world’...? - no, of course not.” His brother has looked up with a face like the thunder he is named for, and Loki blenches and holds out both hands, pacificatory and humble for a second even in his mockery. “Of course not. Sorry.”  
Thor’s frown slowly passes, and he sighs again and sinks his head into his hands. “Brother, they are not ‘other’ worlds exactly. I do not know if you are aware of this, but it is more that – there are other versions of our world. Of all the worlds.” Loki chuckles and he sighs again “Forgive me, it seems you do remember. I am never sure how much you recall, of what you used to know. Before – before everything that has happened.”  
“This, I remember well,” Loki says with a sting in his voice. “Just as I remember that once I was a proud voyager, gifted with potent magic, a man who could travel at will amongst the Nine and the Nine Million Worlds! Thor, get to the point!”  
“I am sorry,” Thor says; and he looks it, too. His handsome face is tormented with unhappiness. “It is - complicated.”  
“So you’ve come to the complicated brother, eh?”  
“Loki, will you help me?”  
Loki pouts. “I’m really not sure why I should. You’ve hardly helped me, after all. But for Jane – for your little human – yes, maybe for that feisty little firebrand I’ll try. Try to forget my own feelings, the injustice of my situation, the unforgiving parents... I’ll be good. Loki the good, for once.”  
“Thank you.”  
But Thor sits staring and brooding, and doesn’t say anything further.  
Loki begins to fidget, like a restless child, or one who imagines he’s been caught in some wrongdoing. “Where do you want me to go?” he says at length.  
“It’s complicated...”  
“Yes, you already said so. Come on, tell me. It can’t be that bad!”  
Thor takes a deep breath and lets it out in a long sigh; then another. Finally he says “There is a world – one of the many – there is an Asgard in which... in which you won, brother. An Asgard ruled by Loki the Wise. Father renounced the throne in his old age, I gave up my claim; you are the king of Asgard.” He gives a little grin, looking down at his hands. “What is more, you are making a pretty good job of it. You are an excellent king, Loki.”  
He looks up into his brother’s astonished stare, and there’s a short silence.  
“That is my Asgard,” Thor adds. “I come from that universe. I swear to you, brother, I am not lying. You know how seldom I tell lies, and how bad I am at it. I need you to go to the Asgard where Loki is king, and enlist his – your – help to heal Jane. Will you do this for me?”  
Loki moistens his lips and says slowly “I don’t understand. Why would Father give up the throne? Why would you? I seem to recall that once it was the only thing you cared-for. Forgive me if I’m being unusually dense but really, it makes no sense at all. Why am I king of Asgard?”  
“I gave it up to be with Jane. I live in her world now.”  
“And Father?”  
Thor looks down at his hands again. Loki leans forward, sharp-voiced with curiosity and alarm. “Why is our Father no longer ruling Asgard? Thor, is he dead?”  
“No…” says Thor, very softly.  
“Then what is happening? Thor? Thor! What is it that you’re not telling me?”  
“Loki – please try to understand – this is not an easy thing for me to tell you. Mother – Loki, Mother is dead. She was slain. In that world – that one world.”  
“No… No, that can’t be true – not Mother!”  
“I am afraid it is.”  
“How? How did it happen? What the hell could possibly happen to Mother? She was never ill, she had a warrior’s spirit, she would never have left Father’s side… I know it’s only one world across the whole Multiverse, but please! – you have tell me what happened!”  
Thor raises his head again, and his expression is masked. “She was betrayed. I cannot tell you by whom. Asgard was invaded by the Dark Elves, through a traitor’s actions. Mother fell defending our people and saving the life of my beloved Jane. It was a hero’s death.”  
“No…” whispers Loki again. A single tear wells out and runs down his cheek. “Betrayed by a traitor…” His voice begins to rise in pitch as he goes on. “Brother, if you value your peace, never tell me who. Never. If I ever discover who it was, though I destroy whole worlds to do it, I will find him and I will rip him limb from limb, I will feast upon his heart and drink his blood like wine. He will die, Thor. I swear it!”  
Thor swallows and says nothing; after a moment he musters an uncomfortable smile. “I promise you, I will never tell you who it was.”  
Loki’s voice is still shaking slightly as he says “And if I help you, will I avenge Mother also?”  
Thor shakes his head. “I do not think it will help in that way. But you would complete the task she laid down her life for, if you help me to save Jane. Mother never gave up hope that you could be healed of your madness. She believed that you would come to regret your crimes, that one day you would be glad to atone for the harm you had done. It would have meant a lot to her, to see you choosing to do that at last.”  
“Well then,” Loki says “I guess I don’t have much choice, do I?” His expression is taut and sad. After a moment he goes on quietly “You know, if I were to make a little speech like that, everyone would know I was just trying to manipulate you. But if you’ve learned to play that game, dear brother, then I will be very surprised indeed! The sincerity of Thor is a mighty weapon… Very well. Very well, I will help you, if I can.”  
This time, Thor’s smile is completely natural, and his eyes are full of emotion. He visibly struggles for a moment before saying simply “Thank you, brother.”  
“You thought I’d say no, didn’t you?” Loki says, pained. “How ironic that it’s only by doing the right thing that I’m finally able to surprise you… Ah, but of course, my help will have a price. That sounds more like the Loki you remember, doesn’t it? Thor, you need to get me out of this place. And you must get me more of this Midgardian medicine.” A fleeting grin dances across his face, an echo of the old maniac expression. “A jail break and a drug supply; do you think you can organise that?”  
Thor begins to chuckle. “I believe I can, yes! It will be like old times – side by side the sons of Odin will go into battle!”  
He rises from his seat and pulls Loki to his feet for a brotherly hug and a slap across the shoulders that makes him reel. “Together we will put this right! If even you can be redeemed, then all things are possible!” He’s beaming with happiness. He gives Loki another manly punch and another bear-hug before he goes.  
Loki watches him out of the door and waits till he hears the locks at the end of the corridor being closed. “If even I can be redeemed…” he murmurs under his breath. For a second his pale face twists with real bitterness, before he sinks back into the chair by the window, as though exhausted by his conversation with Thor. He stares around the room thoughtfully, contemplating the institutional furniture and plain white walls as if seeing them for the first time. But after just a few minutes he frowns in confusion and rubs his shoulder, as though surprised at an ache and unable to recollect what can have caused it.  
Buoyed up and grinning, Thor drives away from the hospital in his borrowed car. All his hopes have been restored.  
Loki gazes blankly out at the cherry blossom, and the muted light of freedom, outside.


End file.
